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Howard Stern 8-8-02 7:30 am

I think they had some poor disabled girl on there, and they tried to get her to count to 50, and I knew Jon was on there the first thing he said was, I cant count to 50!!!
I missed the beg introduction..but I got..
J: (singing, omg its better than Marilyn Monroe, LOL hes so sweet!) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...
Howard: Who do you think it is Wendy? Dirty Jim?
Wendy: Yeah
H: is that you dirty Jim?
J: Nope!
H: Wendy, its not dirty Jim...
W: Umm...
H: Ask him a few questions Wendy, see if you can figure out who is he.
W: What's your favorite thing to do?
J: Mmm...I guess I sing alot.
Robin: OH! I know who it is!
W: Is it Nsync?
H: Nsync? Can you do Nsync?
J: yeah, Im all 5 members of them! (robin laughs)
H: Wendy, do you know who this is? Im gonna tell Wendy! Its the president of the United States.
W: Bill Clinton? Oh hi Bill Clinton!
H: Say hi to Bill CLinton.
W: How are you doin?
J: I would've been a better president than the guy in there now..
H: You sure would've! (R says something) Who is it Robin?
R: Its Jon Bon Jovi!
J: Hi Robin! Happy birthday!
R: Hi!
H: Jon Bon Jovi! Do you know who Jon Bon Jovi is Wendy?
W: Uh, he sings, um, My Life.
J: Thats right.
R: Sing a little for Jon.
W: Its my life, la la la la la...its my, liiiiife!
H: Excellent job!
W: thank you! Theyre one of my favorite bands and that song.
J: Thank you!
H: And you know, this is exciting, because its Robin's birthday, and its also the day Jon is releasing his new single!
R: Wow!
W: Cool!
J: now you have a new one to listen to!
H: Yeah Wendy, are you gonna go out & get it?
W: yes
H: Now Wendy i didnt want to bring this up, and Jon I didnt want to bring this up, but I have to, uh Wendy, didnt Jon RAPE you? (Robin & Jon start laughing)
W: yeah!
H: he did right?
J: (Jon laughs) Ooohh, Howard, you're going to hell for this one!
W: Yeah
H: Werent you backstage at a concert, and Jon raped you?
W: yeah (the whole time Jon & Robin are laughing)
H: yeah, lets discuss that!
R: Oh, well thank you for reviewing it on this show!
H: You went back there, and you went to meet with him, and the various members of Bon Jovi, and they gang-banged you, didnt they?
W; Yeah
J: We've had a lot of hangups, but thats one of them, yes..
R: The whole band?
W: yeah
H: the whole band gang banged you, is it true?
W: yes
H: Did they burn your feet?
W: yes
R: and they poked you with sticks!
W: yes
H: They did
J: Watch out, Sharkton(??)'s gonna be outside my door, starting up something!
H: So in other words, this raping that occured with Jon Bon Jovi, he told you he was super horny and he needed it.
W: yes
H: Uh huh, uh huh!
R: And even though you said no, he went ahead.
W: yes
H: And talk about when Richie Sambora tea bagged(??) you
W: yes (Jon laughs)
H: and David Bryan's dirty (???) tray(??)
W: yes
H: Talk about that.
W: (says something noone understood)
R: Huh?
H: Lemme ask you something, uh Wendy..
R: What did SHE just say?
H: I dunno..I dunno..
W: (mutter something)
H: You did this because Dorothea is cheating on Jon, isnt that true?
W: yeah
J: Aw dont make fun of a handicapped girl like this..
H: What are you talking about? Handicapped..
J:Aw, cmon man..
H: Are you handicapped Wendy?
W: Ye-uh-yeah.
H: No youre not. She is not!
J: you know how much I do with the Special Olympics and all those kids, dont do this, this is MEAN!
H: Jon, shes handy-capable!
Other person: Youre ruining years of his work!
H: Sent Jon back..
R: We had no idea!
H: Did Tico Torres bang you? (Jon laughs, "nnnooo")
W: yeah
H: Alright, Wendy, Im gonna talk to Jon now, ok?
W: Howard, I have a ...for her birthday, I wanna do a couple of songs.
H: Alright, well do that quick because im sure Jon wouldnt want you to miss out on that, right Jon?
J: Right!
W: Um I wanna say hi to my best friend in the world, Melissa Fox, I love Melissa Fox..(she kept listing people)...
H: Isnt it true Jon Bon Jovi gave anal to Bubba and Dirty Jim?
W: Yeah
H: Alright, there ya go!
W: (kept saying hi to people)
H: Alright, sing the song for us, what is the song? Open the show.
W: Its um..umm..
H: Jon?
J: yeah?
R: What happened to Wendy?
H: Jon did you hang up on Wendy?
J: No, I didnt hang up on Wendy! (laughs)
H: I think you did. (Jon laughs)
J: you better call that girl back and at least let her sing her song!
H: I cant believe you raped her.
J: Man, youre going to hell Howard! (Howard laughs, then Jon laughs) But then again we'll know a lot of people there!
H: Youre not kidding.
DJ: You got a retarded bumpkin...(laughs)
H: Jon, how could you take advantage of a retarded woman...
J: yeah...
H: I mean really..
DJ: Hey retard! She wouldnt talk! (Jon laughs)
H: Uh Jon, what drives you? (they all laugh)
DJ: Hey retard! Its Slippery When Wet!
H: Hey Jon, seriously, what drives you to put out another album? I mean you certainly could retire, relax..
R: You know, continue to concentrate on your acting career..
J: What am I going to do with my self? Ya know, I sit out here in Jersey and we do what we do. But its a good record, I wanted you to hear it so we made sure you got a copy of it, ...bootlegging it, sellin it out on the street, ya know...(something..) Eminem's records.
H: Now the album is Bounce..(J: mm hmm) why Bounce? I dont understand, what does that mean?
J: ACtually, it depends on who is the owner. Its the kind of word thats a very strong word, has many interpretations. So Wendy might think its as simple as bouncing up and down and then I look at it as the resiliency of this city or the band or yeah...
H: I wonder how much money you have.
J: ALOT!!!
H: I mean its gotta..
J: Not as much as you but..I have a LOT!
H: You have more than I have. You know why I know that?
R: Why do you know that?
H: Cuz he sold over 80 million records
J: 90..
H: 90 million records!
R: (says something about being "shorter than him")
H: Im sorry, 90..90 MILLION records, thats like, that's ridiculous, AND you sold them before Napster so you got the money out of it.
R: they actually had to BUY every record.
H: He writes them so he gets the publishing and thirdly, the tour, these guys tour relentlessly, and sock away BILLIONS!
J: (said something like naw, I couldnt make it out)
R; How much do you say hes worth?
H: Easily 400 million dollars
J: Excellent, EXCELLENT NUMBER! And you know what, I'm 8 inches too! (laughs)
H: Now, now, the new single is..the whole albums not available in stores..
J: No, not until October, it just sorta got out there on radio, so I wanna make sure you got it.
H: And uh, what is this, ya gotta gimme research. You just did an interview saying youre self conscious about your hair, what is this about?
J: You know, I dont know what this article is, I saw (?) you in like the Globe or something, like your cousin, like your mothers cousin, your second cousin or something in this article, and it said I would cut if all off like Bruce Willis or something, I dont know, ya know, look, what can I tell ya? You cut your hair, they think you're going bald. I dont get it.
H: Well youre not going bald.
J: Nooooo, nooo, noo.
H: No, not with the 400 million dollars was..
DJ: Easy transplant, youre not getting it..
J: Right. Its big.
H: Youre known for your full head of hair
J: I have a full head of hair man, its one thing I got.
H: Alright. Now do you feel a competition with Bruce Springsteen because he's New Jersey?
J: No, no, no, its a whole other thing, a whole other generation.
H: Do you wish you had written an album about 9-11?
J: No
H: Youre not?
J: I have some songs on the record that are references, but um, its not an album about that at all. Alot of other things happened in my life in the last year.
R: But do you call people who lost loved ones in the WTC?
J: Did I CALL them?
H: yes, did you?
J: At random, you mean?
h: yes, at random, did you?
J: No
H: Did you call the people who were affected by 9-11?
J: I played at a lot of charities things, but did I call people from the phone? No.
H: Well let's do that now! Im gonna try to get a couple of people on the phone..Oh wait a second, Wendy's back Jon!
J: Oh good, I wanna hear her song.
H: And who better to do it for than Jon!
R: Good!
H: Wendy
W: Hi! Um Im sorry about that Howard, the phone went dead.
H: The phone went dead. By the way, the man who raped you, Jon Bon Jovi is still on the phone. Go ahead Wendy, sing for Jon and of course Robin.
W: *sings*
R: Oh boy
H: How does that sound to you Jon?
J: It sounds like the Strokes, and the Vines, and everything else that is popular right now! (giggles)
H: Ya think so?
J: No, but I think it sounds like that garage kind of sound, I think its a hit!
H: Arent those the sounds Wendy made when you raped her that night?
J: You're goin to hell Howard!!!
H: Thank you Wendy!
W: *sings*
R: Okay, shes still singing..(cuts her off)
H: Alright, let me a hear a little bit of your new single Jon
J: Cool
H: (plays some country junk) Here it is!
R: Goin a little country?
H: A little country!
J: Yeah, yeah, the good ol Bon Jovi boys band! (country music plays..LOL)
H: Is this a real fishing trip Jon?
J: Nah, its all fiction, Im just appealing to the workin class, ya know, keepin it simple!
R: its a little retro!
J: yeah, just lookin for that new audience.
H: No, in all seriousness cuz we're so funny (Jon laughs)...
R: Sure we're cracking up Jon!
J: Cuz we're so funny! (laughs)
H: Said ....Vin Diesel with some riverband, be quiet will ya...Im sorry Jon!
R: Where is Jons song?
H: I cant even find it! (laughs) What do you think of the songs from the top of the charts?
J: I probably dont even know of them, to be honest with you, I missed out on MTV, cuz cable went out cuz of the storm. Im watching some new rap things that I just thought was atrocious. So...
H: Im gonna play you the top 5 songs before, I want your opinion
J: I just put on Vh1, I like this Gwen Stefani record, No Doubt is cool
H: Tell me what you think of this...
J: Okay..(they played [censored]'s "More than Just a friend")
H: What do you think about it?
J: I dont even know what it is. It sounds like good ol r&b, but I dont know anything about it. What is that?
H: Its [censored]! (Dj & H talk about bizmarkee? LOL I dont know!)
J: jersey guy...
H: Uh, what do you think of Avril lavigne?
J: Shes cute! Shes got a great pop song (they play Complicated), yeah.
H: Is she a one hit wonder Jon or could she..
J: I dont know about it, but she looks like that Alicia Silverstone from when she was in Clueless, shes got the really cute girl thing going.
H: Would you bang her if you were single?
J: I'd look for her mother perhaps.
H: Oh please.
R: Sure you would!
J: Come on! Pedophiles, handicapped kids, oy ya yoy!
H: And its only quarter to 8 in the morning! (Jon laughs) Would you rape Avril Lavigne, or not?
J: (in a really CUTE high voice) NO!!! She's too young!
H: Alright, you didnt rape her.
R: Hes after older women!
H: Retards!
Dj: he wouldnt rape retards! (Jon laughs)
H: I mean, for years, rock stars have been having sex with young girls, in fact, a Steven Tyler story I read Aerosmith's book, he was with a 16 year old, and actually got the parents to sign a consent form.
R: thats amazing about rock n roll stars, they get people to give their daughters
J: that's true! That is true! I've seen that before.
H: Elvis, the greatest of all time (Jon: there ya go!) , not a great singer, but a great guy at getting young chicks!
J: DID YOU SAY HES NOT A GREAT SINGER? Nah, I gotta get your ears waxed!
H: Mediocre
J: Nah, thats not true.
H: Who is the greatest guitar player, lemme ask you a question, cuz Robin aired this the other day, who is the greatest guitar player that ever lived?
J: (takes a breath) Well, alright we're gonna stick to rock first of all, right? and do you want to interpret soloist or songwriter? Ya know, Hendrix, Beck..
H: Hendrix was right, that was the #1
J: Sure!
H: Ya know who they left off that list?
J: Who?
R: He's right, Beck!
J: Beck?
H: lemme tell you who, Jeff Beck..he kinda sucked (Robin laughs), lemme tell the truth, the guy gotta learn how to sing.Wanna know whos good, Steve Vai! The guy cant sing. Lemme tell you whos great they left off the list, Eddie Van Halen!
J: Of course! Hes an innovator!
H: Hes a virtuoso.
J: Absolutely!
R: hes in the top 5
J: yes! No question!
H: Who was #2?
R: 2 was Jimmy Page.
J: Jimmy Page- great, amazing! Clapton!
H: the guy in your band-Richie Sambora, he should get..
J: He should get most underrated guitar player in the biz.
H: Absolutely!
J: hes an OUTSTANDING player!
R: Number 4 was Slash.
J: Thats not true, Slash is a good guitar player, but not in the top 5 of all time.
Dj: Eddie Van Halen was #7!
J: No Eddie was an innovator. Slash's a really good rock guitar player, of always been a fan, but not in the same league as Eddie. Eddie was an innovator.
R: 5 was Brian May
J: Brian May was a great guitarist!
H: nevermind that, lets jsut see the single, see if youre wasting your time or actually (Jon: ok!) the next American Idol!
J: (laughs)
H: do you watch that show?
J: I did see it!
H: I love it! (Jon laughs)
J: Youd be a great Simon!
H: What did you say? I could be Simon but..
J: I could be Randy Jackson, Id be the good, the nice guy..
H: you would say everybody's name 3 times
J: Yeah, I'd be Randy
H: RJ, RJ, RJ.
J; Yep
H: Paula Abdul, theres something mentally wrong with her
J: Paula Abdul, I cant get over shes judging people's singing talent (Howard laughs), humorous!
R: ANd ya know, she doesnt have a problem with it! She's willing to do it
H: Yeah she tells everyone theyre good cuz she cant do better (Jon laughs), just cuz you cant sing doesnt mean you cant have a career!
R: and you know to everyone who goes to her she should say "i really shouldnt be here" (Jon laughs)
H: All of you kids are better than me!!!
R: I really shouldnt comment on singing!
DJ: Im gonna go to my room and cry!
H: Alright, lemme hear a little bit of your..
J: Alright, alright, alright!
H: Whats the name of the single?
J: Everyday
H: Everyday, in otherwords, everyday
J: Mm hmm.
H: Here we go: and and umm, what is this? Its very difficult to play these! (plays song) And this song is about when Jon raped Wendy! Nah, Im just kdding with ya Jon, youre very respectable with women. Now I have a question about this song..
J: Yeah
H: Did Calista Flockhart ever try to get you to f her?
J: NO! Can you believe that?
H: I cannot believe that!
J: No!
R: You went in tehre and she went with Harrison Ford?
J: yeah! I was bummed, believe me! Ya know..
Dj: whats her problem?
H: Ill tell you her problem, Jon's prettier than her (Jon snickers)
J: She's cute!
H: So are you!
J: And she has a problem, I mean what if I got a wife and three kids, what a prude!!! Cmon!
H: I cant believe you..
J: Aw, Calista wasn't doin' nothin'!
H: Poor Jon..
J: yeah, Im bummed! We could have a contest, ya know, free Willy! (Jon does his cute Jon laugh, Robin & Howard laugh too) ahhhhhhhhh!!!
H: the new song is Everyday
J: yeah
H: the album Bounce is available October 8th
J: dig that!
H: You are a good friend of the show..
J: Yep!
H: And uh thank you for calling
R: you canlisten to this on the radio?
J: yeaaah!
H: Ill play it again, Ill play it all the way through!
J: Dont worry about, I was just callin to say happy birthday to Robin, thanks Howard, you guys...Stay out of trouble man!
H: and invite me to that Jersey mansion fo yours sometime
J: Oh dont start with that again! Dont start with that again! (lol!)
H: Cuz one time I couldnt go!
J: Cuz you had Carmen Electra hangin' out with ya!
H: What would you have done with her, married man? (Jon laughs)
J: Ha, its a big house!
H: Im not gonna bring her around somebody good lookin! (Jon laughs) Ya know what my trick is with someone like Carmen Electra?
J: What?
H: I let her hang around my ugly friends!
J: no man! You gotta bring her over for like a house gift! People bring a bottle of wine, you say here, I brought ya Carmen Electra!
H: Ah, well I should invite you over when um John & Rebecca Stamos are here
J: yeah, cuz shes gorgeous
H: yes
J: Very sexy girl
DJ: And Rebecca's cute too! (Jon busts out laughing)
H: By the way, Jon was there when president Clinton snubbed me
J: yes I was there. He didnt even see you man,
H: Oh he saw you!
J: Yeah, he saw me! (giggles)
H: he had an eye for you, lemme tell ya that! (Jon giggles more) killed me! Alright, well Jon congratulations man!
J: alright, get back to your show! thanks guys!
H: Bye!
J: bye!

then Howard kept talkin about Jon & women & how he thinks he'll be divorced in 3 years, but Robin doubts it.